Responsibilities vs Freedom

 

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Sand Dunes in Dubai, UAE

 

2nd May 2017

“ I have a dream…..”, how do you read that in your head? Me, I hear the great Nelson Mandela’s speech.

We never had encyclopaedias in the house for our homework, I had to use libraries. So you can imagine my excitement and curiosity when in the late nineties, we had our first computer and with it a CD ROM called Encarta!! Now remember this is BEFORE the internet. This disc was an encyclopaedia. Not only it contain pages and pages of information, but it played video clips!! We had never seen anything like this before in our own homes. So what is the relevance to all of this? Every time you would start up the Encarta CD, the intro would be our mate Nelson making his infamous speech, and it was something that stuck with me, what is my dream?

My dream, my dream…… what did I want out of life? I don’t bloody know! But I was coming to terms with what I didn’t want. I didn’t want the 9-5 routine. I didn’t want to be “tied down” somewhere. The thought suffocates me. Brings out anxiety and depression. And I am not saying these are bad things, I just know that they are not for me.

I suffer from clinical depression, so sometimes it is hard to decipher irrational thoughts from my logical ones. And I will have a thousand ideas and goals and activities I want to do, but most of the time don’t follow through because I am onto the next. I believe that this is my coping mechanism to stop myself from dwelling on thoughts and always looking forward.

One day, I was visiting my parents and I was watching a travel show. Travel has always been my passion from a child. I loved the airline industry and from the age of 6 that was what I was going to do. At age 19…. I did. I had a great career spanning 13 years in the industry and the perks let me travel all over the world. After the airlines, I did a little travel consulting before moving into hotels. Looking back, I think the move into hotels was a subconscious one as it meant I could work anywhere in the world if I wanted to.

So we were watching a travel show and they were in Japan. I always wanted to go to Japan. I love the food, the culture and the sheer wackiness of the big cities and tranquility of the countryside. I sighed knowing that it would take a long time to get there as saving was difficult on a single wage and paying rent and bills on my own.
I got sad and actually a little bit pissed off. I had been able to go where ever in the world I wanted to before with my perks, it sucked that I had to stop.

I mulled on this on the way home and then the thought, clear as day entered my mind…”why can’t you travel the world? What is STOPPING YOU?”. The obvious answer at this point was money and time. I went home to map out my options.

ACCOMMODATION
I was renting a 2 bed apartment. OK apartment can go…..with it is the monthly bills. My furniture was practically all second hand and not worth much at all so I won’t lose much by getting rid of it.

JOB
Hospitality industry is a great industry to move around. It is how I like to describe as a very transient industry with a lot movement. If you look at any successful hotelier, they have worked at numerous properties, all over the world. So brownie points to “past” Skye for a good career move.

PET
This was the absolute hardest decision to make. I had my cat, Zara for 4 years and she was my companion and my best friend. Living alone and having my condition, she really helped me and provided that comfort I needed. I would be lying if I didn’t feel like the most horrible, selfish person for having to re home her, but there is was just no way around this. As much as I really loved her, I had to put my needs a head.
* I am happy to report that she was re homed to my life long childhood friend’s parents house…..which is next door to my childhood home! She now has another cat buddy called Max, and they play and snooze together. And the best thing is that she is not gone for ever and I get regular updates. In the end, it may of been the more selfish option to have her in my apartment, alone all day while I work.*

So I pitched the idea to Mum and Dad. I was going to get rid of most of my worldly possessions and move back in for 8 months to save and then pack my backpack and embark on my adventure! I was expected to be met with negativity, the usual fight about having a career and getting married, but when I advised that I was going to re home Zara, they knew I was deadly serious, and I was met with support and the green light!

So my plan? My plan at the moment is to head off to Asia, a week to unwind in Bali and then off to India for a 2 week adventure from Delhi to Kathmandu, Nepal. After that, who knows!

I guess now….I have MY dream!!!

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